


New Beginnings

by Occasionalcoffeethereturn



Category: The X-Files RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-17
Updated: 2015-07-26
Packaged: 2018-04-09 21:16:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4364483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Occasionalcoffeethereturn/pseuds/Occasionalcoffeethereturn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Have they come full circle or is this a new beginning?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

She felt him rather than heard him as he stood next to her. She sat gazing out at the twinkling lights of the waterfront below them. She'd always preferred the north of the water to the south, ironically much like her preference for London living. It was somehow comforting to watch the city from above; she could watch it without it watching her. 

 

The sofa cushion moved next to her as he joined her, offering the stem of a white wine glass in her direction. He knew she only drank when he was around and allowed him the indulgence of thinking he was a bad influence on her. Really what it came down to was trust. She trusted him enough that she could be at ease with him, alcohol or not, made up or unmade, poised or shattered.

 

She felt his thigh against hers and watched as he bent forward, elbows on his knees, gaze studying into the distance as she had. She felt his chest rumble next to her arm as he spoke. Even his voice was different these days; upward cadences replaced the painfully dragged out monotone that had hung around since the late nineties – now thankfully shaken off. He even said her name more often, to show her that he considered her more often. She knew she was not only inside his head but somewhere deeper.

 

'Does it feel like we've come full circle?'

 

She pondered this for a moment. In some ways they were back at the beginning, back where it all started but had they come full circle? Tied things in a loop? As far as she could work out the only things that were the same as in 1993 were geography and the absence of a spouse. 

 

'No. No it doesn't.'

 

Her voice had that whisper to it, the scratchy lisp that she used in her late night calls to him, the voice that had told him he was 'great out there' at his concert in New York and the one that asked him to stay with her when she'd got divorced. The irony had been she’d asked him with ex-husbands. 

 

He cocked his head at her and took a sip of his wine, watching as the rivulets of water ran down the rapidly warming glass, competing with each other in a race to get to the bottom.

 

'No?'

 

'I feel like this is another step on the journey.'

 

'Our journey?'

 

'That's what it's always been for me. It's why I'm here now David. You know that.'

 

He sat back and switched his wine glass to his other hand, his arm extending along the back of the sofa, his finger drawing circles on her bare shoulder. He'd always loved her shoulders and he knew that she knew that; it certainly explained why she'd worn sleeveless dresses at every one of their public appearances since San Diego. That had marked yet another vital turn in the road on this journey of theirs.

 

She lent closer to him, her head resting on his shoulder and his hand drifted to curl around the upper part of her forearm, holding her to him. One hand held onto her wine glass as the other rested on his thigh, stilling his movements. He always bounced his toes up and down when he was nervous or anticipating something. She wasn't sure if Mulder had got it from David or David from Mulder. Her hand rubbed the fabric of his jeans and she heard him let out a sigh before sipping his wine again. 

 

'It hasn't always been our journey.'

 

'Other people along the way?'

 

'Diversions. Distractions.'

 

She felt him pull her closer as if to reassure himself she was still there with him and not running off home to anyone else, or anything else.

 

'I mean... Do you ever wonder what it would have been like if you'd have said yes when I asked you?'

 

'David....'

 

Although this was a conversation she would have previously avoided, even run from, they weren't those two people anymore. They were in a good place with each other. They talked, they were honest and neither of them had anything to hide anymore.

 

She'd been quiet for so long he wondered if she'd forgotten the conversation he was referring to. He'd been horrifically drunk one evening and she'd picked him up from a bar more than a little worse for wear. He'd told her he wanted to be with her, told her to choose him over Clyde. They had only known each other a few short weeks but things had escalated. He'd fallen and he'd fallen hard for her. She'd had his heart even then and he’d been so desperate to keep her. That had been the problem, his desperation and depth of his feelings for her had scared her away. She’d told him she couldn’t find herself with him around, found it impossible to work out who she was and that she’d lose herself and her sense of self if whatever it was between them was to carry on.

 

'You mean to tell me you've never wondered about what we might have been like together.'

 

'Of course I have.'

 

'Really?'

 

'How can you think that I haven't? David we have never been in a position where we were willing or able to.... Give ourselves to the other person. You were ready, I wasn't. I was fragile, I'd got divorced... Then all of a sudden you were single one day and married the next. The moments just passed us by.'

 

The seconds ticked by with both of them knowing they were wondering the same thing. Had they now reached that time, that position? Was this not full circle but a step in an entirely new direction? And was it even a step or a leap off a cliff with closed eyes and hands tied behind backs?

 

'Moments passing us by... Sounds like something you wrote. All tonight's missing is a ghetto blaster and Moby at dangerous volumes.'

 

Her hand landed hard on his thigh to slap him but she laughed as she lifted her head off his shoulder and sat more upright to look at him.

 

'I have iTunes and Spotify you know. I can download a playlist. It can be arranged.'

 

He laughed at her, watching the sparkle in her eyes and feeling sure his reflected the same glint. He was happy to enjoy this playful, flirty side of her and get to hold her in his arms.

 

She was buzzed from the wine and placed her finished glass on the table. He raised an eyebrow at how quickly it had disappeared but followed suit and downed the rest of his drink. His hands clasped either side of her face holding her gaze to his as his fingers tangled in her hair, massaging her scalp.

 

'You have to know how much you mean to me. Over twenty years Gillian. Everything we've been through.'

 

She let his voice wash over her, his words honest and his voice rough with his desire, want, need and love for her. His fingers continued to rub her scalp, almost as if he was willing the words to sink in beneath them.

 

'I do. And... I'm still here. After everything I've not gone anywhere. I'm not going anywhere.'

 

'That says a lot.'

 

'Are you quoting my script at me again?'

 

'Wouldn't dream of it. Are you going to talk all night or...'

 

'Or what?'

 

'What's a guy have to do these days to get a kiss?'

 

She placed her lips against his, tasting the moistness and citrus hue left by the wine and pulled his lower lip into her mouth. Her hands reached up to tangle in his hair, anchoring his face to hers. Their kisses were slow, her lips gently but firmly moving over his, their tongues venturing out to tease each other before retreating backwards. These were the kisses of two people who had kissed each other for years, returning to the maps of each other’s mouths and embracing the familiar territories. These were the kisses that time forgot, but which souls remembered. They were the kisses of two people who loved each other and who were in love with each other. He pulled back first, resting his forehead against hers, their lips brushing against each other with the barest of touches.

 

‘You look… Different.’

 

He hadn't been expecting a comment like that and pulled back a little more to regard her more fully. He looked into her eyes for a little longer than both of them knew was necessary, his fingertip grazing up and down her forearm.

 

‘I do?’

 

‘You seem happy.’

 

He pulled her close again and his nose nuzzled her hair. She heard him sigh deeply as he pressed his face against her head and she felt his kisses gently increase in pressure.

 

‘I am happy. I’m the happiest I’ve been in a long time. There’s a reason for that.’

 

‘There is?’

 

She couldn’t keep her expression serious as she pulled back a little to look at him, her hand squeezing his thigh.

 

‘Don’t make me spell it out Gillian.’

 

‘I like it when you spell things out. Puts that literature degree of yours to good use.’

 

‘Masters. Literature masters.’

 

She moved closer towards him, her nose rubbing against his and angling her mouth to kiss him again. ‘Shut. Up.’

 

Her lips brushed over his, her tongue snaking out to wet his lower lip and retreating back into her mouth. Her kisses were slow and deliberate and he let her take control. She felt, as she knew she would, the tip of his tongue trying to find hers again, but deliberately held back and made her kisses lighter. She knew she was teasing him but she enjoyed it and tonight was all about her being able to enjoy him. 

 

He peppered featherlight kisses along her jawline and her skin tingled so much it made her dizzy. His mouth reached that spot just beneath her right ear, the spot where he'd kissed her between songs on the night of his concert. She thought about him that night, his happiness and disbelief when he'd found her backstage even though she'd promised him she wouldn't miss it. He'd worked his lips along her collarbone and up the slope of her neck, whispering how good it was to see her, how glad he was that she'd shown up, that she was there. He'd got carried away and her earring had worked its way loose from her ear and down into the cleft of her breasts by the time she'd got on stage. She had to shake her dress out to retrieve it without people noticing. The way he'd looked in her eyes to thank her for coming had made her shiver.

 

'David?'

 

He stopped nuzzling her ear with his nose and rested his forehead against hers, humming acknowledgment with his eyes drifting closed.

 

'Take me to bed please.'

 

Her voice was a low scratchy whisper and he planted a chaste kiss on her lips, lacing his fingers with hers as he led her off the balcony. He was sure he'd never loved her quite as much as he did right now in this moment. He certainly felt like he'd come full circle, and that all his paths, diversions and distractions in his life had all been to lead him back to her.


	2. Chapter 2

They stepped into her bedroom in silence, the routine familiar yet they both somehow felt new to one another. He was as aroused and excited about making love to her now as he was the first time he'd fucked her. And he liked to think their coupling had evolved from fucking to love. He smiled as he remembered her perched on the edge of his kitchen counter, her thighs wrapped round his waist in his old Los Angeles apartment. It had been a time when bleached Levi's and backwards baseball caps were in fashion and you could get away with not calling a girl because she didn't own a phone. Not that he'd ever not have called her. Not calling was never going to be an option, not with her.

 

'You're smiling.'

 

'I'm reminiscing.'

 

'You are?'

 

'All good things.'

 

She smiled as she took his hand and placed his fingers on the buttons of her shirt, watching as he popped the plastic through the holes revealing her expanse of creamy skin beneath. His fingers fluttered up her sides, his palms passing over her breasts to hold their weight in his hands. He dipped his face into the valley between them, tongue sucking at the lacy edge of her bra and he felt her reach for his hand again, directing him, showing him where she needed him as his thumb rubbed her nipple into a hard peak.

 

Her shirt swished to the floor and she stepped away from it, pushing her chest towards his head. He lapped at her hungrily, teasing the skin inside the lace casing as one hand worked on her nipple as the other danced up and down her back. He made a few passes with his flittering hands, hearing her moan almost in agony at the wait and he paused to unclip her bra, easing her arms through the straps. She stood before him now naked from the waist up, her breathing heavy and her skin flushed, glistening with his saliva.

 

'Tell me.'

 

'Tell you what?'

 

'What were you remembering?'

 

He pulled her over to the bed, letting her lay down as he propped himself on one arm above her. He kissed her on the mouth, index finger circling one areola before the other, his tongue just entering her mouth as his finger passed over her nipple. She gasped against his lips and felt his mouth leave hers, nibbling along her jaw on an invisible pathway to her ear. His breath was hot next to her earlobe as he whispered to her.

 

'I'm remembering the first time I was inside you.'

 

He felt her shudder at his words and knew that however bad she claimed her memory might be, she hadn't forgotten how it felt either.

 

'I remember you seemed to just... Know how I needed to be touched.'

 

His hand skimmed over her belly button, under her waistband and scratching the coarse border of her curls. She sucked in a breath through pursed lips. He drew lazy circles on her belly, teasing her as his lips caressed the pulse point in her throat.

 

'It was... Instinctual? I touched you like that because it was how I wanted to touch you.'

 

'I think it was more than that.'

 

His hand dipped down again but lower this time, his fingers circling around her folds and spreading her wetness up her clit. He stroked her slowly, almost agonisingly so and she breathed deeply, twisting to press her lips to his. He moaned as he pulled her lower lip into his mouth, tongue tangling with hers, his fingers continuing to touch her into a frenzied slow burn towards orgasm.

 

'How so?'

 

'David... No one has ever known how to touch me like you do. It's got to be more than just instinct.'

 

His nose rubbed against hers as his hands set to work easing her jeans off her hips. He was still fully clothed as she lay almost bare before him, her white lace underwear now the only barrier. She knew how much he loved to watch her get worked up like this.

 

She heard her jeans fall to the floor and he kissed his way down her body, pausing to take a nipple into his mouth as his hand inched down her waist. His mouth followed the path of his hand, nibbling, sucking and biting. He heard her sharp intake of breath as his nose hit her mons, inhaling her. His tongue snuck around the lacy edges of her underwear, ever threatening to get closer to her core and she was relieved when she felt two fingers hook around the elastic. Now she was naked before him and watched him as he watched her, looking at her like she was new, like they'd never done this before.

 

The tip of his tongue pushed firmly on her clit and she gasped at the brief sensation. Her legs fell open wider as he licked and suckled her, her hips pulsating up and down against his face. She could feel herself getting close and on the brink of orgasm and she knew he sensed it, pulling back to prolong her pleasure. He knew she m wanted, as always, to come with him inside her.

 

'I watched you.'

 

She vaguely registered he had stopped and was talking to her and squeezed his shoulder. He kissed his way up her body, propping himself up again next to her as he'd done earlier. His fingers stroked inside her and he watched her as her breath hitched and she bit her lip.

 

'I watched you... And how you responded to me. I watched so carefully...'

 

'You made me come... In a bar David. You touched me and made me come in that booth we were sat in. In public. You just made me able to... Let go.'

 

He chuckled lightly, remembering how she'd worn a denim skirt with no underwear the night after their first audition, demanding he took her to a mediocre bar. They'd both known then how their night would unfold and maybe she'd sensed they wouldn't last until the end of the night before things escalated. His fingers had fucked her in a bar full of people, much like the what they were doing now as they brushed against her front wall. He thrust inside her and she bucked against his hand, a moan escaping her throat. 

 

'Your face, your eyes, your breathing. I watched so I knew exactly how to touch you. Threw in a bit of arrogance and some instinct about it all... But that's what I did.'

 

'But why? Why pay so much attention when it could have been just for one night?'

 

'I knew I didn't want just one night. Not with you.'

 

She reached for his belt but his hands halted hers and he shook his head gently. He stood at the edge of the bed and shed his clothes, his erection standing proud in front of him. He took himself in his hand and stroked up and down, holding her gaze all the while he moved towards her.

 

He kneeled between her legs and lifted her gently to place a pillow under her back. She raised her eyebrows and smiled at him, hooking her arms around his neck as his lips found hers. He entered her in one powerful stroke, the angles and movement causing them both to groan. Her heels climbed their way up his back, anchoring him inside her and pushing him in deeper. 

 

He moved inside her, his lips resting against hers and his eyes closed in concentration as he sped up. Her tongue found its way into his mouth and he felt her nails dig into his back. She was close and he kissed his way to her neck, sucking on the spot below her right ear to tip her over the edge.

 

She came against him quietly and intensely, holding him tightly to her. He somehow managed to hold off his orgasm and held still to allow her to recover. She squeezed her walls against him letting him know he could continue and he nearly lost it again. Instead he bent and held one of her legs and thrust inside her, wanting to last but at the same time eager to find his release. Her nails scratched up and down his back and her mouth trails open mouth kisses along his stubble. She heard his breathing quicken, his thrusts deeper against her cervix. 

 

He feels as her mouth reaches his ear and he hears her whispers to him to come for her.

 

'Oh god yes... I love you. Love you Gillian,' he breathes as he spills himself inside her, his breathing harsh and ragged and his elbows numb after carrying his weight on them for so long.

 

He wonders if he said what he thought he said in the throes of orgasm and he's pretty sure that he did. He wraps his arms around her and rolls her on top of him, still inside her. She bends to kiss him and rests her forehead against his, her fingers scratching lightly through the hair on his chest.

 

'Hi.'

 

'Hey.'

 

She gives him a chaste kiss before slipping him out of her and disappearing behind the bathroom door. He pulled his boxers back on and hoped that things are ok, waiting for her to come back to bed. She follows suit to him, pulling on her panties before spooning up against him, pulling his arm around her and lacing their fingers together.

 

Maybe things were okay after all as he felt her snuggle against him and squeeze his hand.

 

++++

 

The smell of coffee assaulted her nose as she blinked herself awake. Her arm flopped across the bed to find his side empty but a warm spot, so he'd not been up long. The noises in the kitchen suggested he was trying to assemble something for breakfast and she smiled to herself. She stretched and retied her hair on top of her head, spying a pile of his clothes and his tshirt amongst them on the chair.

 

She heard something clatter to the floor and bounce as the material slipped over her head and her heart stopped as she saw a small blue, velvet box lying on its side.

 

She should pick it up. Or should she? It wasn't for her though. Or could it be for her? If it was for her, it wouldn't be... He didn't want... She didn't want... It wasn't a...

 

'Hey sleeping beauty...'

 

Her head snapped round and he took in the sight in front of him, her wearing his tshirt, fresh out of bed, in a Mexican stand off with that damn box on the floor. Shit it must have fallen out of his pocket. He knew he should have put it away somewhere the night before and had even been careful enough not to let her undress him to hide it from her.

 

He'd bought her the earrings just because he'd seen them and the colour had reminded him of her eyes. That was it, simply 'I saw this and thought of you.' And he thought of her often these days. Yet as much as he knew it would be fine to give them to her, part of him hadn't decided that for certain. And right now that part of his brain was chastising him for not being a little more careful with where he threw his clothes. He was also cringing inwardly as he remembered last night's confession of love as he came. If he wasn't careful this could get too much for her. 

 

'It's not... I mean it is for you but... It's not what you might think. It's not that. I hadn't decided if it was ok yet. To give it to you. Shit. I'm sorry.'

 

She blinked at him slowly, still frozen to the spot. He was endearing when he was nervous, his voice stuttering and unsure, eyes anywhere but meeting hers. She knew he was nothing but shy but every now and then she saw this side of him and found it completely disarming.

 

He sighed and risked a quick glance up at her. She was at least looking at him and not at the box but he couldn't quite read her face. Her hands had twisted themselves in his t-shirt at the hem and he could spy a strip of white lace underneath that was driving him to distraction. 

 

'I'll... I'll go get your coffee.'

 

'It's ok.'

 

'No I just made it for you, I'll go get it.'

 

He walked back towards the bedroom door and she knew she had seconds to rescue this. His posture already looked deflated and she didn't want to start the day like this, not after the night they'd just had.

 

'The gift I mean. It's ok.'

 

'It is?' 

 

'Maybe we shouldn't be so afraid of whatever it is that's going on here David.'

 

She relaxed her hands and stepped towards him, her face softening. She watched as he opened and closed his mouth a few times, knowing he wanted to ask her exactly what is going on here because he thinks he knows but can't and wouldn't bet his life savings on their thought processes being the same.

Her brow furrowed and she looked behind him towards the kitchen.

 

'David is that...?'

 

'Shit I was making you breakfast.'

 

She stifled a laugh as she watched him dive for the oven, turning off the hobb and rescuing the toast from under the grill. She walked slowly towards the table, smiling at the picture of their domesticity together. This really was okay and she tried to shake away the fear of what would happen after filming finished. But for now she could enjoy it, enjoy him and wherever this took them.

 

He perched next to her at the table as he set a plate of scrambled eggs on toast in front of her along with one for himself.

 

'Thank you,' she said as she leaned over to kiss him.

 

'You,' he said as he kissed her again. 'Are very welcome.'

 

It was actually pretty good and she was pleasantly surprised through the first few bites that he could actually make something resembling a meal.

 

She paused and placed her knife and fork down, giggling as she picked out some egg shell. 

 

'Ah. Any pieces of shell left are left there in love just for you.'

 

He smiled at his own joke before realising just exactly what it was he'd managed to say again. He paused and took an extra long gulp of coffee.

 

'They are?'

 

He nodded and watched as she pushed her chair back from the table, an overwhelming feeling of nausea coming over him. He closed his eyes and tilted his head up to the ceiling, as if looking up there would give him some inspiration of what not to say next.

 

'Gillian I...'

 

He drifted off as he felt her stood next to him and smiled as he caught sight of what she was holding out to him. She'd gathered the egg shells he'd used for breakfast and put them back in the box.

 

'If... Um. If egg shells really are a sign of love then I should probably give you these.'

 

His eyes looked at hers and he smiled a genuine smile that reached his eyes and crinkled them at the edges.

 

'Thank you.'

 

She nodded and sat back down, pushing the small pieces of shell to the edge of her plate.

 

'We're okay then?'

 

Her foot tangled with his under the table.

 

'We definitely are.'


End file.
